Wicked Wanda

Last week I introduced my Grandma's fun tradition of grossing out her grandkids with "Spooky Sam". Here is another version:

Wicked Wanda

Do you remember old Spooky Sam? He didn't want to come again, so away he ran.

So tonight we have a brand new guest,

Her name's Wicked Wanda--as witches go, she's one of the best.

She'll make for us a yucky brew

I don't dare taste it, how about you?

The first ingredient Grandma will hate,

Cause it's the slithery skin of a scary old snake! (cooked lasagna noodle cut in half)

Next came the wings of a vampire bat

That sounds pretty bad, what do you think of that? (piece of fruit leather)

Next, we have the skull of a troll,

She plucked off his hair and kept it in a bowl. (a whole coconut)

She saved the hair for a good reason too.

She throws it in next to turn her brew blue. (corn silk from corn on the cob)

Next comes some lizard lips to add a real zing,

This witch is really a real ding-a-ling. (mandarin oranges)

Then she skinned a fat old toad

and left him naked on the side of the road (avocado peal)

A rat's tail will add that special taste

If she'd use the whole rat, it wouldn't go to waste. (end of a fresh beat)

Next she snatched an alligator eye

It goes in the brew, and that's no lie. (avocado pit)

She got the hide from a porcupine,

Thanks to the help of Frankenstein. (peel from fresh pineapple)

Black widow spider legs are necessary too.

Without them, we just wouldn't have the right brew. (tops of green onions)

When mummies got wrapped up, you know,

They lose their belly buttons, isn't that so? (olive)

(the following things are in boxes with a hole in the side to put hand in and feel)

The stuff in this box came from Jurassic Park.

It's the real dinosaur poop, does that give you a start? (peeled kiwi)

The werewolf is also here tonight,

Here's his eyelids, to give you a fright. (kiwi peel)

Next, she snatched the wart from a friend.

It was covered in buggers from end to end. (ends of green onions in egg whites)

On the way home one night she found a road kill.

The guts were still fresh, does it give you a chill? (insides of cantaloupe or pumpkin)

When you feel the next one don't let your lips quiver--

Remember old Spooky Sam, she cut out his liver. (Jello in a surgical glove)

And that completes our witch's brew...

Who'll be the first to drink it? Wicked Wanda dares you!!!