Waiting

Have you ever had one of those pivotal moments that you know may change your life? One of those moments that you can't wait to come because you are so anxious; yet you don't want it to come because of what you might hear. I am waiting for one of those moments.

Last week, I posted about Aaron's abdominal migraine episode...well it has turned into something much different. We waited and waited for his symptoms to subside but he wasn't getting any better. On the fifth day of him not eating and abdominal pain I had an awful conversation with Aaron that went something like this:
"Mom, you know how there are some sicknesses that make people die?" I tentatively replied "Yes." "Mom, what if this is one of those sicknesses....I don't want to die before Thanksgiving and Christmas." I held it together as best as I could while I told Aaron that we will do everything that we can to help him get better. We decided that we couldn't wait any longer.

Eric and I took Aaron to the ER that night where they gave Aaron IV fluids because he was so dehydrated and performed x-rays and blood tests. It was so hard to see Aaron in so much pain. They finally got the IV in after 3 tries. Then we waited for any news. The doctors told us that the x-ray showed that something, probably his spleen, is enlarged. He explained what that could mean...leukemia plus a lot of other things that I didn't hear because I was focused on leukemia. Then the waiting was endless with that possibility hanging in the back of my mind. Luckily the tests came back negative and his blood work was fine so they sent us home and told us to see our pediatrician on Monday....more waiting.

Over the weekend, Aaron started eating and acting more like himself so I was very hopeful today. But we found out that this "mass" has gotten bigger and we are now waiting to go back to the hospital for further tests where we will wait to hear what is wrong.

I am sick of waiting, but I am scared to hear what all of this waiting has been leading up to.